Eureka City Council 6-20-2023: Did that B*tch Just Call Me An A$$hole?

Council 6-20-2023: Did that B*tch just call me an A$$hole?

Ah, Eureka City Council meetings: where the drama unfolds and hypocrisy reigns supreme. As a journalist and a concerned citizen, I recently attended one of these captivating spectacles. Little did I know I would witness a series of events that perfectly exemplify the sheer irony of the situation at hand and the lack of ethics currently plaguing our fair city.

Reflection On Covid Policy and ARPA

Naturally, my first order of business was to address the infamous COVID vaccine mandate. I stood before the council, my voice oozing with sarcasm, as I highlighted the hypocrisy of a policy which had cost my dear wife her job. Science and public health, right? Freedom and facts, my friends!

Below is my planned comment (I deviated from this during actual comment based on the feel of the room/meeting) on covid and video of my comment at the actual meeting.

eureka city council 6-20-23 lcp ash covid comments

Covid Comments


“City Manager Miles Slattery found himself in a comically bewildering situation when it came to handling the Covid vaccine mandate. With advice pouring in from all directions, Miles couldn’t resist following the guidance of Sophia Pereira, who held a communications degree. Now, don’t get me wrong, Sophia might be a great communicator, but basing medical decisions, even in part, on her advice was like taking health tips from a stand-up comedian. Let’s hope laughter is the best medicine!

In an interesting twist, Miles seemed to channel his inner Milgram Experiment Participant  when deciding to call the whole failed experiment off. Remember those  shocking studies so many community members brought before you week after week? Well, instead of listening or doing his own research, Miles played the role of a diligent city manager, listening to what could be a doctor in a white coat and cranking the “vaccine mandate dial” up to 10. It seems like he was determined to follow orders, regardless of the consequences. Shocking indeed!

Meanwhile, Kim, the master of secrecy, kept the public in the dark about Miles’ hidden powers. Last September, when I asked, “What it would take to end the City’s vaccine mandate?” She told me that it was all based on the county’s policy. Little did I know that behind the scenes, Miles was the one maintaining the vaccine mandate that cost my wife her job. It’s like a real-life sitcom episode, where an unelected official holds significant power without anyone being the wiser. What a surprise it was on people’s faces when they realized the mandate was in the hands of a city manager all along. Talk about an unexpected plot twist!

All joking aside, it’s crucial to ensure transparency and open communication when it comes to public health matters.”


Of Ethics & A$$holes

But wait, there was more! The primary reason for my attendance that night was to cover the proposed changes to the city’s ethics policy. You won’t believe this, but they cunningly saved the juicy topic for the grand finale, tacking it onto the tail end of a mind-numbingly long three-hour meeting. They surely know how to keep us on the edge of our seats, don’t they?

Finally, the time came for me to voice my thoughts. And oh boy, did I strike a nerve! As I passionately spoke about ethics, the council’s very own Kati Molton decided to provide a live demonstration of her expertise. Off-mic, but not off my radar, she couldn’t resist loudly bellowing, “You, asshole.” How charming.

Lost Coast Outpost not actually being at the meeting, got this part wrong and claimed that she muttered the comment under her breath. Her mic was off and she blurted it out loud enough so I could clearly hear it and if even the tiny microphone on my phone recording the meeting could capture it at the far end of the room. The funny part is: shortly before that, councilman Scott Bauer asked me why I recorded the meetings myself and didn’t just use the Access Humboldt footage. To which I replied: “To capture your reactions” in reference to council and staff.

Below is my planned comment (which I once again strayed from) and a recording of my comment at the meeting.

eureka city council- kati moulton calls public speaker asshole during comment on ethics

Ethics Comment


“Ah, the city of Eureka, where the winds of change blow in the most satirical of ways! Just weeks after being called out for council members failing to sign and follow the ethics policy, they decided it was high time for an update. Well, isn’t that convenient? It’s like changing the rules of a game you’re already losing!

But wait, there’s more hilarity in store! The new ethics policy now places even more power in the hands of the city manager. Because who needs accountability when you can simply hand over the reins to someone who’s not even an elected official? It’s like saying, “Hey, we trust you to make ethical decisions for all of us, but don’t worry, we won’t hold you accountable if things go awry.”

In a true comedy of errors, multiple city council members are involved in organizations – funded by the city -which support: dismantling capitalism, anarchy, and extremist groups like Antifa. It’s like they’re playing both sides of the game—sitting in the council chambers by day and plotting the downfall of the system by night. Talk about multitasking!

Now, enter City Manager Slattery, the master of downplaying conflicts of interest. When confronted with the obvious question of whether these connections should lead to recusals from voting on replacing the ethics policy, Slattery dismissively claims it’s all just speculation. Oh, come on, Mr. Slattery, it’s not speculation; it’s plain common sense! It’s like saying it’s speculative to think a fish might get wet in water.

Oh, Eureka, your antics never cease to amuse. It’s like living in a satirical sitcom where the punchlines are written by the city council themselves. Here’s hoping for some genuine ethical reflection and a good dose of common sense before the next episode of “The Unbelievable Ethics Policy Chronicles” hits the airwaves!”


The irony of the situation caught me off guard. Here I was, addressing the council on the matter of ethics, only to witness a councilperson hurling insults like a petulant child. It seems that some people only believe in ethical conduct when it suits them. Bravo, Ms. Moulton, bravo.

Not surprisingly, I wasn’t the only one disturbed by this blatant double standard. Other attendees in the room also voiced their discontent, calling out the council’s hypocritical behavior. You see, up until that point, the public had managed to maintain a modicum of decorum. Alas, it seems that decorum is a one-way street in the land of Eureka.

Eventually, an apology was offered, as it should have been. But the damage was done. The city of Eureka, once again, had egg on its face. Bravo, council members, bravo. Your commitment to upholding ethics and fostering a respectful environment is truly awe-inspiring.

In conclusion, my dear readers, I hope this glimpse into the wonderful world of Eureka’s city council meetings has amused and enlightened you. It’s a place where irony thrives, ethics take a backseat, and hypocrisy reigns supreme. I bid you farewell until the next episode of this enthralling political circus. Stay tuned!

Below is the Access Humboldt footage of the entire meeting

Full Meeting

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About:

Ash Teeter is a local Humboldt artist, computer technician, and student. Ash has extensive experience in commercial/residential painting and decorating. Most importantly, Ash is a proud father, husband, and freedom-loving individual.
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